Punching Holes in the Clouds

Ever since I was old enough to know what skydiving was I wanted to do it. I would say every summer that this would be the summer I would do it, but always put it off, be it money or lack of nerves. But finally last Sunday...

I did it!

There is no feeling in the world quite like it, it's totally unique and completely exhilarating. My brother Dave and I went to Mt. Pleasant to do it. We received only about 10 minutes of instruction before suiting up in super uncomfortable jump suits. They were tight in all the wrong places.

Before we knew it we were headed for the plane, this tiny, cramped thing that looked like it could barely make it off the ground anyway let alone with us all in it. Dave and I, along with our two instructors, squeezed onto the floor of this plane and off we went. I admit, I was N.E.R.V.O.U.S. There is no way you can mentally prepare for something like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, therefore my nerves were pumping. After an agonizingly long 17 minute flight we reached 11,000 feet and WHOOSH! there goes the door.

The wind whipped through the tiny plane as Dave and the instructor he was strapped to inched to the door. One second they were sitting there, the next they were gone. This did nothing for my nerves. We inched our way to the door, and put my feet on a step over the wheel and suddenly my mind registered that I was going out of the plane, to plummet thousands of feet to the ground. I had a moment of clarity while Scott goes 3,2,1! And out we go!

I couldn't even register what was happening we were falling so fast and the wind was so loud! I felt a rush of adrenaline unlike any before, and in that moment I had never felt so alive. It never one registered in my mind the thought of, "Uh oh!What if my parachute doesn't open!?" All I felt was pure excitement like never before. After 30 seconds of shooting to the ground our parachute opens and I got to experience the biggest wedgie known to man. For the next 5000 feet we coasted to the ground while trying out some twists and turns which made me feel quite ill so we stopped that.

All I have to say now, is you MUST experience this for yourself! You MUST!! There is nothing like this and I can describe it all day long but you won't truly know till you've felt the wind in you face and seen the ground rushing towards you at 100s of miles an hour. It is insane to say the least.

Now go forth, and punch some holes in clouds yourself...

Why We Are Here

"As long as I see anything to be done for God, life is worth having; but O how vain and unworthy it is to live for any lower end."
-David Brainerd

I read this quote earlier this week and have been dwelling on this for a few days now and really felt compelled to write in this long forgotten blog of mine. I really do miss this ol' thing, it's nice to write my thoughts out, despite if anyone reads these ramblings or not.
This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. The idea that everything is meaningless unless done for God or for the love of others. If you really start to think about it it's so mind blowing to realize that nothing we do here on this earth will last after we die. All the money we acquire, the cars we own, the big house we buy, the movies we watch, all these things are meaningless.

I've realized that the only things that will truly matter are what we do to further God's kingdom. Sharing the gospel with the unreached, helping those in need, loving people, and living with a outward focus. I've learned something very valuable in these months since leaving Americorps, that the only time I'm truly, genuinely happy is when I'm helping others and serving God. As soon as my focus turns inward everything starts to fall apart.

This life is not about me at all, it's about what I can do to serve God. And this is exactly what Mr. Brainard was saying, and it resonated so greatly in me. Coupled with the fact that I'm reading Ecclesiastes which is all about discovering the meaningless pursuit of material things, and how great a life can be merely when you turn your focus upwards. It's so crazy to think about how material and selfish I am and how much I really need to change. There is so much pain and hurt all over the world and I'm worried about what shirt to wear that makes me look better. That is so embarrasing.

This quote by Nate Saint sums this up nicely and also sucker punches you:
"I would rather die now than to live a life of oblivious ease in so sick a world."

wow...

Sorry Screen, but you just might be ruining me!

What I'm about to write may seem hypocritical, being that I am a huge movie buff, but I'm not saying I'm good at this, that I also should change. Ok, hear it goes:
Lately I've been thinking that perhaps we may be too entertained as people. Do you ever find yourself sacrificing time that you should be doing homework to instead play on facebook? Do you ever stay home and watch TV instead of hanging out and cultivating relationships? Do you ever wonder if your brain is wasting away to nothing as we sit in front of a screen showing things that other people have written?
We watch as other people live glorious lives of adventure. As people go through trials and hardships only to come out on the other side unscathed and a better person. We watch as the people on the screen LIVE their lives. Why can't we do this? Why do we have to watch others take risks, make mistakes, and pick themselves back up? We often wish that real life could be as cool as movies or tv. Well, I believe it can be. Only if we decide to stop watching other people live and instead start living ourselves.
Let me ask you; take any movie: In it, are the characters ever shown just laying about watching TV, or playing on the computer all day? No! They're out having adventures. If they are shown doing that, then its to get the point across that that character is either lazy or sad and lonely.
We are spending far to much time in a fake world and not enough making our own stories great. I'm not saying tv or movies are bad! Heck, I LOVE movies. Everyone needs to escape sometimes. I'm just saying that sometimes there is too much of a good thing. I've found lately that I'm not doing certain real life things just so I can laze about and watch someone else's life. I need to change, I need to start making my own story something worth "watching". See, I think God has a hard time using christians who are so conditioned to be entertained. We as christians need to be out in the world, helping others, and witnessing all the splendor of the earth! Not dying in front of a box.
Anything I've ever read from people on their death bed have always said they wished they had spent less time watching tv and more time with family, friends and enjoying life. Perhaps we should start living that way now, and not wait to regret it when we're dying.
So let's start creating our own great "movie". And like any great story you'll need your own call to adventure, the point when you cross the threshold into the unknown, you'll need your own tests, and climax/battle, you'll need to get messy and make mistakes. It won't be easy cutting back on screen time, but I guarentee it will be worth our whiles. Cause through this all we'll come out better people and more useful in God's kingdom, more ready to do his will, and maybe, just maybe, you'll live a story so grand, they'll make a movie about YOU someday, to inspire generations to come to live a great adventure.

Are We Gentleman?

I have written a note on Facebook blog about being a gentleman and what that means. I would like anyone's thoughts or suggestions on it. Or even criticism.

http://http//www.facebook.com/home.php?#/editnote.php?note_id=197113157607

Nothing more manly than baseball :P

Why I Left Americorps

This is probably coming as a surprise to you all, and I don't expect most of you to understand my reasoning. From reading my blogs it looks like I was having the time of my life, and I was, So I shall try my best to explain.


From day one I was in personal termoil over being there, I was homesick mostly at first, but I knew I would get over it. And I did. But as time went on I discovered more of what Americorps was about and after much prayer I eventually decided my time was up here. I gave it three weeks and I felt peaceful about leaving. Here are the reasons in no particular order:


(1) I hate dorm life. I am a person who very much enjoys my alone time, and there was none of that. I was with people literally 24/7. And I got used to that, but I wasn't getting used to how open everyone was about doing drugs all the time, and drinking every night. Yes, that is what many people call "real life", I call it an alternate universe where adults refuse to grow up.


(2) While many of the things Americorps is doing very good, I started feeling differantly, and this is one of my main reasons. Think about it, Americorps is going out and doing service, fixing houses and whatnot, which is all well and good. But these are material things, and we're not allowed to talk about God while in uniform. So yes, we are fixing things that matter on earth, but in the long run, have no eternal value. That is why organizations like Samaritan's Purse are so great, they are doing many of the same things Americorps does, but doing it under the name of God, and sharing his love. Americorps can not. Also, mentoring kids is another thing we could end up doing, and under no circumstances do most of these kids have any right to mentor a kid. I should have thought this all through before, but alas I did not. Also, if you think about it, we, as the government are making people even more dependant on the government by helping them out. Yes, it's good, but people are not independant anymore, we're also taking jobs away from the builders and others in the gulf who would LOVE to rebuild a house.


(3) I missed home, and my church family. No getting around that.


(4) Every morning I would wake up and think, "Why am I here? Really?" I prayed so very much and read the bible, and I truly felt like I was not meant to stick this out. I know that could be used as a cop out, but it's true.


All this being said, the three weeks were not wasted, not in the least. Because I was so far from my church support, family and friends, I relied on God's comfort and guidance more than ever. I feel closer to God, and more open to His leading now than ever before. That wouldn't have happened had I stayed home. I also learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about others. I learned how to live in a community albeit only for 3 weeks. I met so many cool people. I got to spend tons of time with Sarah. I got to go on so many adventures I NEVER would have experianced. Like; Star Wars in Concert, Nuggets games, bouldering, rock climbing, eating at awesome new places, getting lost multiple times in Denver and always finding our way, experiancing the zombie walk, seeing Sarah in Rent...twice, packing boxes at the food bank with One Republic, making a running track at a school, hiking tall mountains in Red Rock, playing guitar and singing with other people (not just by myself), went to an awesome new church, driving a 16 passenger van down a mountain...and living, going to a hookah bar, and so many more experiances I'll never forget. All because I was here.


I know you're thinking, "But you could've had so many more adventures!" And that's true, I don't doubt it. But this just wasn't for me, I didn't feel a peace about it. I know for a fact though, it's where I was supposed to be for those 3 weeks, I feel changed, and renewed, and ready for the future. Yes, I quit, and no, this isn't a sign of things to come hehe.


Doing this also showed me I really want to serve, serve God, by serving others under His name. I plan on working with Operation Christmas Child when I return home, hopefully going to South Carolina to send off the shoe boxes, going to the Dominican Republic again next July, and hopefully working more with Samaritan's Purse. I discovered I have a heart to serve, but not under the name of the government. I will be going back to Delta, and finding a new, better job. No more coffee shop for me. I will also be taking the train home, so I will have time to reflect on my time here.


Overall, I had a great experiance. I will never forget these three weeks. I know you won't understand, believe me it was a hard decision. I don't even fully understand, but this is where I feel God is leading me now, back to Saginaw. And who am I to say no? If I see you in person and you want to try and understand better, I will try and explain better, but I can't make promises. :)

Weekend of Fun and Awesomeness

This whole week has seemed very unlike the other Americorps weeks because we've had so much time off! Being that apparentely Halloween is a federal holiday now, we had the whole weekend off. So I went to spend the weekend with Sarah!
Before leaving late Friday night our whole unit got to a huge indoor rock climbing and bouldering place. It was so awesome! And for those who don't know bouldering is basically leaping from rock to rock without a harness, and when you fall you fall into a nice cushy mat. I personally preferred that to rock climbing, it was a challenge to overcome!
That night was a campus wide Halloween party. Picture this; a small dance floor room loaded with 200 people, with strobe lights, disco lights, extremely loud techno music, halloween decor and lights, and a root beer keg, and you have a pumping halloween party.
I then spent the night with Sarah, and was so glad to be able to sleep in an "actual" bed, take a shower in something that wasn't slimy and grimy, and sleep in (in Sarah's apartment morning doesn't start till noon). It was also so nice to have they're puppy, Pugsy, snuggling with us, it reminded me of Snowball.
Sarah and I then spent the afternoon eating colorado style pizza, walking around beautiful downtown fort collins, and ending with eating cookies overlooking the Horsetooth resevoir. That night Drew cooked a home cooked meal which to me was heaven after so much cafeteria food. And we then preceded to be the coolest kids around and....watch scary movies! whoo!
I am now chilling on Sarah's couch watching the Jetson's while typing this, waiting to head to see Sarah in Rent again. Tonight we get to see the Nuggets! What an adventurous weekend, relaxing to! It was nice to get a weekend break from dorm life.
Even though its almost been three weeks now, I still miss home almost as much as the first week. I'm having so much fun, but its true what they say, home is where the heart is. I can't wait to return!
While listening to a sermon this morning by Todd Nighswonger from Cornerstone he was talking about doing God's will every moment of every day, and he said this thoughtprovoking statement: "When God says to you jump, your response should be, how high?"

Snow for Halloween?

Yes sirree! We have snow here in Denver, and not just a light dusting, it's about 14 inches! SNOW DAY!!! I must say, it is positively beautiful out here with the snow, basically a winter wonderland. Because of all the snow our classes were canceled the last 2 days resulting in much free time, and sleep catch up.
Before I go into these last two days, let me tell you about tuesday. We went to the Rocky Mountain Food Bank to help pack boxes full of food. Upon arriving we learned that One Republic (a band famous two years ago, and no one really cares about anymore) was coming to help us out! And wait, it gets better! The film crew for Biggest Loser were coming to film them and us. We were on our second ever project and already the publicity is roaring. Of course, the band only worked for 30 minutes, but hey, it was fun! At the end of the day they said our team of 15 packers packed 2000 boxes of food, and they only expected us to do 1000. We Americorps workers are HARDCORE! Whoo!
These past two snow days though have been a bit rough on me, because we had a large amount of free time with not a lot to do, I started getting very homesick, and just about came home. It was the accumalation of many feelings at once. Like feeling like I'm totally cut off from reality( and glenn beck), hating dorm life, feeling like I'm the only person who's differant because of being a christian (even though thats not true), and just plain homesickness. But, crisis averted, and I'm here to stay! :) I feel like I have a job to do here, a job of being a light in a very very dark place.
And to save me from my endless boredom, today we tried out a hookah bar. It was a total new experiance for me, and I can't say I like pineapple flavored or juicy fruit tobacco. No fruity stuff for this real man! Ar ar ar!
I also bought a coffee maker for my room, so now people don't have to completely avoid me in the morning. I shall be the cheeriest person on campus, and thats a fact!